How to foster a healthy body image in your child
By Megan Labrise

There is a growing self-consciousness about weight and how we look among an ever younger segment of the population--and often among young people who are not overweight.

A nationwide survey of more than 2,900 men and women published in the February 1, 2007 issue of the journal Biological Psychiatry, fournd that the incidence of eating disorders among both males and females in the United State is on the rise, and that binge-eating disorder is even more common than the better known anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa.

"Between seven and 11, children started becoming aware of their body image--of the amount of calories they consume, how their friends see them, how they see their friends --and then they start acting on what they're observing," said Martha Steuding, Director of Education and Advocacy at the Mental Health Association of Ulster County, which facilitates groups that encourage mindful eating.

The obsession with being thin can be just as damaging as childhood obesity. In extreme cases, it may develop into eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia nervosa.

Nor is today's heightened awareness of appearance is not relegated to cosmopolitan areas. "In Ulster County today, you could easily find a child who would be able to talk to you about fats--what percentage of body fat they should have, the fat content of different foods," said Steuding.

According to the Renfrew Center for Eating Disorders, the not-for-profit arm of a large women's health facility with sites around the United States specializing in the treatment of anorexia nervosa, bulimia and binge-eating, some 47 percent of girls in fifth to twelfth grades reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures and 69 percent of girls in the same group reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of a perfect body shape. At the same time, half of all girls between the ages of 11 and 13 see themselves as overweight.

Such statistics are not insignificant in view of a mortality rate associated with anorexia nervosa that is 12 times higher than the death rate of all causes of death for females 15-24 years old, based on Renfrew Center data. Nor are eating disorders confined to females. While the majority of young people with eating disorders are female, the number of male patients suffering from eating disorders and poor body image is on the rise. in fact, one in four pre-adolescent cases of anorexia nervosa occurs in boys.

According to the Renfrew statistics, 28 percent of high school males attempt to gain weight through weight lifting. Even if only anecdotally, the awareness of body image at increasingly earlier ages is apparent. "In my mother's time, women tended to diet when they were adults, after pregnancies," said Sil Reynolds, a Stone Ridge R.N. who specializes in treating eating disorders. "In my generation, there was Twiggy and we dieted as teenagers. What we're seeing is that girls are dieting and restricting before puberty, interpreting their body's natural changes and gaining weight as 'fat' and 'ugly.'"

While not every child dissatisfied with his or her appearance will develop an eating disorder, a poor body image can have a serious, long-term impact on a child's emotional well-being.

How do you help your daughter or son develop a healthy, realistic body image?

The obvious place to start is to know what a healthy, realistic body image is. "I think it's a positive feeling about the way you or one perceives their body, regardless of what the culture thinks or what the people around them think," said Reynolds. Given that everyone is unique, not all people are meant to be rail thin, she pointed out. There are warning signs that a child's body image may not be healthy, according to the experts. Do they count calories and restrict their food intake? Do they express guilt after eating fattening foods, weigh themselves multiple times a day, or take pride in the ability to skip meals? Perhaps they try to alter their appearance to look thinner with clothing, haircuts, or makeup; take laxatives; or express the sentiment that they aren't attractive or one can never be too thin.

Parents need not worry that every bout of low self-esteem will turn into an eating disorder, but they should become aware of the signs. "A negative body image itself is kind of a warning sign," said Reynolds. "Although it's not guaranteed that someone will develop [a chronic disorder], it needs to be addressed."

In view of the pressures on our children and the media messages with which they are regularly bombarded, parents should also be proactive about encouraging a healthy body image in their children, agree the experts. This begins with modeling positive behaviors. For some parents, it might be necessary to take a step back and assess whether or not they, as adults, have a healthy relationship with food.

"The mom or dad--or the child--could say, 'Do I weigh myself every day? Do i skip at least one meal a day? Do I could calories or grams of fat? Do I exercise because I have to, not because I want to?'" said Steuding. Parents should also be conscious of describing their own physiques and eating habits in negative terms in front of their children.

"Try not to say 'I was really "good" today; I was really "bad" today.' Children are sponges; they're going to really take that in," said certified nutritionist Holly Anne Shelowitz, director of Nourishing Wisdom in Rosendale. *Don't restrict your child's diet.

"Find that delicate balance between being mindful and being controlling. We can't control and restrict every single thing they do. What will happen is that they will rebel and get as much as that thing as they want," said Shelowitz. The early relationship that children create with their food has staying power. Those who find difficulty forging a healthy balance early on are apt to continue poor eating habits into adulthood.

"[Studies have] shown that actually restricting a child's food intake can be directly connected to later disordered eating or eating disorders. If in the understandable concern that you child is eating too much, you want to help them to find a moderate way restricting and depriving takes away that child's own ability to learn to trust and know their own body's cues," said Reynolds. Restricting and depriving a child out of concern for their well-being takes away that child's own ability to learn to trust and know their own body's cues, she pointed out.

This goes hand in hand with another edict: Don't use food as a punishment or a reward.

"'If you don't do this, you're not getting dessert tonight.' Oh my God, that is poison. 'If you do this, I'll get you a chocolate bar.' That's a setup that can create a lifetime of very serious issues with food," said Shelowitz.

Be mindful of your child's friends.

Friends are an incredibly influential part of your child's development--and there is such a thing as a "bad influence." A collective obsession with being thin can lead to peer pressure and poor eating habits. Reynolds sees this with many middle schoolers. "Skipping lunches in middle school may actually become the 'cool' thing. If they're eating, they're not in with the 'cool crowd.' That's a food behavior that could potentially turn into an eating disorder," said Reynolds.

A strong role model can help combat this phenomenon. Reynolds and daughter Eliza, 18, speak to groups of younger girls about positive self-image and are currently writing a book on mothering and daughtering during the teen years.

"The positive role there and the experiences that I had growing up...taught me to be confident in myself," said Eliza Reynolds.

Diversify activities.

One surefire way to expose your child to new potential friends is to allow him or her to pursue outside interests. Joining a local theater group or taking an art class is a great opportunity to branch out. Something like karate or little league presents the added bonus of physical activity. All build self-esteem.

Share meals together.

Calm, healthful meals enjoyed together in the home provide great bonding time. Allowing kids to share in the preparation provides an even greater connection to nourishment.

"Get the kids involved in the kitchen so that their experience of food is not that it just lands on a plate in front of them. Have a garden or, if that's too difficult, take them to farmers' markets," said Shelowitz.

Weight gain can be a good thing.

Appropriate weight gain is a natural part of development and nothing to be ashamed. "A girl might develop a little bit more of a belly, and then she turns into a string bean next year--and that's totally natural. If your child experiences a growth-related weight gain, [congratulate] them. 'Your body is so intelligent; it's storing up for the growth to come! It's storing food!' The kids can begin to see the wisdom in their body and in its changes," said Reynolds.

Reinforce the positive.

Remember to champion your child's successes and growth in all areas, not just the physical. And when it comes to the size of their bodies, let them know that no matter what shape they take, they are loved. "Whatever size a child is, the child is beautiful," said Steuding.